4:14 am
1. A baby's pacifier
2. The left lane on a freeway
3. The act of giving my turn to someone else
4. Passover
An incomplete list of things I privately refer to in my head as 'The Old El Paso'.
4:27 am
As a kid, I watched Marty Robbins on The Barbra Mandrell show. From across the room, my mom said he didn't look good. We watched a little more, and she said it again. She was sure something was wrong with him. And the next day, December 8, 1982, he was dead.
4:33 am
I think he sang El Paso that night. I just watched a clip of him on YouTube from the Mandrel show. But I have the volume down as not to wake anyone up. Especially the dog who woke me up at one and is now snoring unapologetically.
In the clip, Marty Robbins did not look good. Although it could just be the suit.
4:41 am
So, if my mom asks how you're feeling, see a doctor.
She also knew Susan Smith was lying. My mom and my wife both watched a clip of her talking to the press and they were all like, 'she did it'. And I came down on both of them for having no humanity and well here we are.
The real thrust of that story is probably that I'm the only one who didn't see she was lying.
4:46 am
I always confuse the song El Paso with the song Running Bear about the brave and the squaw who swim to each other across a river, meet halfway and drown... speaking of, you know, drowning.
4:59 am
I just typed 'squaw' and 'brave' because the phrase 'Indian Couple' reads as borderline racist, but Native-American seems wrong when you're taking about a song from 1959. I'm the James Watt of Facebook.
5:09 am
If my wife wakes up and find me watching Barbra Mandrell on my phone...
Actually, she'll just see Marty Robbins' mustache and the feathered Mandrell hair and assume -- and who could blame her -- eighties porn.
5:17 am
Ron Jeremy, by the way just had cardiac surgery a few weeks back. Complications from cardiac surgery are what killed Marty Robbins.
If my mom noticed Ron Jeremy didn't look well, I'd prefer not to know.
1. A baby's pacifier
2. The left lane on a freeway
3. The act of giving my turn to someone else
4. Passover
An incomplete list of things I privately refer to in my head as 'The Old El Paso'.
4:27 am
As a kid, I watched Marty Robbins on The Barbra Mandrell show. From across the room, my mom said he didn't look good. We watched a little more, and she said it again. She was sure something was wrong with him. And the next day, December 8, 1982, he was dead.
4:33 am
I think he sang El Paso that night. I just watched a clip of him on YouTube from the Mandrel show. But I have the volume down as not to wake anyone up. Especially the dog who woke me up at one and is now snoring unapologetically.
In the clip, Marty Robbins did not look good. Although it could just be the suit.
4:41 am
So, if my mom asks how you're feeling, see a doctor.
She also knew Susan Smith was lying. My mom and my wife both watched a clip of her talking to the press and they were all like, 'she did it'. And I came down on both of them for having no humanity and well here we are.
The real thrust of that story is probably that I'm the only one who didn't see she was lying.
4:46 am
I always confuse the song El Paso with the song Running Bear about the brave and the squaw who swim to each other across a river, meet halfway and drown... speaking of, you know, drowning.
4:59 am
I just typed 'squaw' and 'brave' because the phrase 'Indian Couple' reads as borderline racist, but Native-American seems wrong when you're taking about a song from 1959. I'm the James Watt of Facebook.
5:09 am
If my wife wakes up and find me watching Barbra Mandrell on my phone...
Actually, she'll just see Marty Robbins' mustache and the feathered Mandrell hair and assume -- and who could blame her -- eighties porn.
5:17 am
Ron Jeremy, by the way just had cardiac surgery a few weeks back. Complications from cardiac surgery are what killed Marty Robbins.
If my mom noticed Ron Jeremy didn't look well, I'd prefer not to know.
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