In 1880, a hanging in Washington goes badly. A prisoner is accidentally decapitated in front of horrified wittinesses, drawing attention from the national press. Some months later, in Buffallo, an elderly drunk man staggers toward an electrical generator, touches two terminals and dies instantly without so much as a whimper. An onlooking dentist dreams of a new era of capital punishment. Such begins America's love affair with shocking the snot out of people.
The "Kill Switch" question I posted last month came upon me kind of suddenly as I was eating at a McDonald's with my family. I didn't ask their opinions (we were all eating seared meat), but I discreetly Googled "Kill Switch" and "Electric Chair" on my phone and found nothing linking these two terms that suggested the switch existed or that it had, in fact, been an old joke. So I posted it. And of course, through the magic of SMS, it reposted a half dozen times. Later, I read the Wikipedia article on the electric chair and found some links to websites operated by guys who MUST have at least once been asked to leave Home Depot for inappropriate behavior in the commercial wiring department. What I discovered was completely fascinating.
Who'd have guessed that human beings would be so hard to kill... at least in some sort of humane and aesthetic way? At the end of the nineteenth century, with the industrial revolution in full swing, there was no shortage of people being torn and chewed by gears and belts or bisected under the wheels of locomotives. Somewhere in the overt savagery of this new technology there must be a device, a technique for bringing execution into the elegant and efficient 20th century, leaving behind the inconsistent firing squads, gruesome strangulations and blood-splattered beheadings (along with the sacks full of heads which didn't seem to be quite dead until long after their moment in the spotlight).
So enter electrocution.
The great thing about the electric chair is that it went wrong right out of the gate. In the first attempt, there was a prolonged period of waiting for the generator to recharge before the prisoner could be shocked a second time and finished off. There was a lot of bleeding and burning, wittinesses tried to escape the room to escaped the smell of cooking flesh but weren't able to. When it was done, the people who put the whole affair together looked over the aftermath and apparently thought to themselves, "Yes. We're definitely on to something here..."
The apparatus is in the form of a chair because its designer, Dr. Alfred P. Southwick, was a dentist and accustomed to working on seated subjects.
The word "Electricution" did not exist before electricity was used in capital punishment. The word is a marriage of the words "electric" and "execution". Such lingual inventions are called portmanteau words. Another example: Spork!
There are actually two separate shocks in the execution process. The first is designed to render the prisoner unconscious, and the second is designed to do the fatal damage, but not designed specifically to set the prisoner's head on fire. That's all gravy.
Match the Quote to its speaker
1. "We live in a higher civilization from this day."
2. "They would have done better using an axe."
3. "...an awful spectacle, far worse than hanging."
4. "Gentlemen, I wish you luck. I'm sure I'll get a good place, and I'm ready."
a. Alfred P. Southwick - who is to electricution as Berry Gordy is to Motown.
b. Nikola Tesla - inventor of the Alternating Current which was used in the execution despite his protests.
c. William Kemmler - The first man to die... eventually... in the electric chair.
d. Unspecified Reporter - who may or may not have been offered a sandwich following the execution.
Answers: 1 a, 2 b, 3 d, 4 c
Knowing that AC was better suited than DC for providing electricity over long distances, the "Genius of Menlo Park" set about trying to out market and outright smear his competition. Which of these didn't he do?
a. Shock live animals to death in front of large audiences with alternating current.
b. Attempt to coin usage of the verb "to Westinghouse" to be used interchangably with "to electrocute".
c. Imply a homosexual relationship between Tesla and Westinghouse, launching AC/DC as a euphemism for bisexuality.
d. Procure an AC generator under false pretenses for the first electric chair death, having it shipped first to South America.
Answer: c
Despite its storied history,or likely because of it, the practice of electrocution is in steady decline. In fact, the states that continue to use this form of punishment reserve it only as a backup for those rare prisoners who are afraid of needles and yet comfortable with bursting into flames or having their eyes ejected from their exploding heads. So if the police pull you over in Alabama, Florida, South Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee or Virginia, and find parts of a hobo in your trunk, don't agree to lethal injection so quickly. You have a unique opportunity to join an elite fraternity of drooling, twitching pioneers. Ride that lightning, felons.
And Happy Halloween.
The "Kill Switch" question I posted last month came upon me kind of suddenly as I was eating at a McDonald's with my family. I didn't ask their opinions (we were all eating seared meat), but I discreetly Googled "Kill Switch" and "Electric Chair" on my phone and found nothing linking these two terms that suggested the switch existed or that it had, in fact, been an old joke. So I posted it. And of course, through the magic of SMS, it reposted a half dozen times. Later, I read the Wikipedia article on the electric chair and found some links to websites operated by guys who MUST have at least once been asked to leave Home Depot for inappropriate behavior in the commercial wiring department. What I discovered was completely fascinating.
Who'd have guessed that human beings would be so hard to kill... at least in some sort of humane and aesthetic way? At the end of the nineteenth century, with the industrial revolution in full swing, there was no shortage of people being torn and chewed by gears and belts or bisected under the wheels of locomotives. Somewhere in the overt savagery of this new technology there must be a device, a technique for bringing execution into the elegant and efficient 20th century, leaving behind the inconsistent firing squads, gruesome strangulations and blood-splattered beheadings (along with the sacks full of heads which didn't seem to be quite dead until long after their moment in the spotlight).
So enter electrocution.
The great thing about the electric chair is that it went wrong right out of the gate. In the first attempt, there was a prolonged period of waiting for the generator to recharge before the prisoner could be shocked a second time and finished off. There was a lot of bleeding and burning, wittinesses tried to escape the room to escaped the smell of cooking flesh but weren't able to. When it was done, the people who put the whole affair together looked over the aftermath and apparently thought to themselves, "Yes. We're definitely on to something here..."
Electric Chair Fun Facts
The apparatus is in the form of a chair because its designer, Dr. Alfred P. Southwick, was a dentist and accustomed to working on seated subjects.
The word "Electricution" did not exist before electricity was used in capital punishment. The word is a marriage of the words "electric" and "execution". Such lingual inventions are called portmanteau words. Another example: Spork!
There are actually two separate shocks in the execution process. The first is designed to render the prisoner unconscious, and the second is designed to do the fatal damage, but not designed specifically to set the prisoner's head on fire. That's all gravy.
Think 'n Do
Match the Quote to its speaker
1. "We live in a higher civilization from this day."
2. "They would have done better using an axe."
3. "...an awful spectacle, far worse than hanging."
4. "Gentlemen, I wish you luck. I'm sure I'll get a good place, and I'm ready."
a. Alfred P. Southwick - who is to electricution as Berry Gordy is to Motown.
b. Nikola Tesla - inventor of the Alternating Current which was used in the execution despite his protests.
c. William Kemmler - The first man to die... eventually... in the electric chair.
d. Unspecified Reporter - who may or may not have been offered a sandwich following the execution.
Answers: 1 a, 2 b, 3 d, 4 c
Edison... What a Douche...
Knowing that AC was better suited than DC for providing electricity over long distances, the "Genius of Menlo Park" set about trying to out market and outright smear his competition. Which of these didn't he do?
a. Shock live animals to death in front of large audiences with alternating current.
b. Attempt to coin usage of the verb "to Westinghouse" to be used interchangably with "to electrocute".
c. Imply a homosexual relationship between Tesla and Westinghouse, launching AC/DC as a euphemism for bisexuality.
d. Procure an AC generator under false pretenses for the first electric chair death, having it shipped first to South America.
Answer: c
In Conclusion
Despite its storied history,or likely because of it, the practice of electrocution is in steady decline. In fact, the states that continue to use this form of punishment reserve it only as a backup for those rare prisoners who are afraid of needles and yet comfortable with bursting into flames or having their eyes ejected from their exploding heads. So if the police pull you over in Alabama, Florida, South Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee or Virginia, and find parts of a hobo in your trunk, don't agree to lethal injection so quickly. You have a unique opportunity to join an elite fraternity of drooling, twitching pioneers. Ride that lightning, felons.
And Happy Halloween.
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